Escape from Paradise?

(from travel journal dated Friday October 1, 2010)


My writing spot in Villa #1

Got up early today and happy as I assumed that the Internet was back up and that I could get a ton of work done.  Very eager to get some of the women’s conference work done but foiled again!!! No Internet still!

8:15 PM I was just berating myself for having not written today when I realized that this is all I have been doing! Blogging, journaling, facebooking and documenting everything with pictures with captions!! Ok this begs the next question…what am I doing all this for?  Who am I writing to?  Okay perhaps more importantly…why am I hearing drum beats and loud singing/chanting near my cottage? I am finding the sound of the rain very unnerving.

I realized I came here to face my fears.  I keep trying to be in denial of it because it just doesn’t seem to make sense…this is not what I came for.  I came to write and to escape but am slowly beginning to accept that there is no escape.  Suffering is everywhere…even in paradise.  Buddha says suffering is inevitable, this is one of the 4 noble truths

Waiting out the Storm

I also just realized how once again my fear exists in my ego. This is not supposed to be about me.  I forgot that my job as an artist is to sacrifice myself on the altar of creativity. When I look at it like this I am unafraid I am on a mission and prepared to die. I’m living my vision right here and now by being here and I don’t even want to realize this.  I had a vision to travel and write and paint. I’m sitting here in a little hut in the tropics with no AC with my laptop on this small wooden table.  It is raining steadily outside.  It seems that it has been raining for 10 days straight. 

Sitting with yourself can be very challenging.  I continually want to change my situation but am learning that this is futile so I’m considering the below…

The Four Noble Truths were the first teaching of Gautama Buddha after attaining Nirvana. They are sometimes considered to contain the essence of the Buddha’s teachings:

  1. Life as we know it ultimately is or leads to suffering/uneasiness (dukkha) in one way or another.

    Jamaican Buddha

  2. Suffering is caused by craving. This is often expressed as a deluded clinging to a certain sense of existence, to selfhood, or to the things or phenomena that we consider the cause of happiness or unhappiness. Craving also has its negative aspect, i.e. one craves that a certain state of affairs not exist.
  3. Suffering ends when craving ends. This is achieved by eliminating delusion, thereby reaching a liberated state of Enlightenment (bodhi);
  4. Reaching this liberated state is achieved by following the path laid out by the Buddha. (Wikepedia)

What are your thoughts on the above?  Is suffering an inevitable part of life as a human and do you accept this or attempt to change it?  Drop me a line and let me know your thoughts.

To participate in my non-fiction book about women living their visions, by answering  a brief survey and telling us your story, please visit The Vision Quest Survey. 

About admin

For over 12 years Nicole Cutts, Ph.D., licensed Clinical Psychologist, Success Coach, Author and Organizational Consultant has been inspiring and empowering people to achieve a more balanced and successful lifestyle. Dr. Cutts has consulted with and trained executives, managers, and teams at Fortune 500 Companies, Federal Government Agencies, and Non-Profit Organizations. As a master facilitator and Success Coach, she helps people create an exceptional life by honoring their mind, body, and spirit so they can experience joy, passion, meaning, and ultimate success in their work.
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